Looking for love in all the wrong places!

divorce (1)

Speed dating, night clubs, dating websites are they all the wrong places or are they all the right places?

In this modern world we have been socialised very differently to the rest of human history, we are socialised to fear our neighbour rather than love them, not speak to strangers, we now text rather than speak, to social media rather than socialise.

Seeing as we in this modern generation have been socialised so differently does that mean that the old methods of dating and finding love have become redundant?

Back when a man would grow up around a girl they would often know all about each other and fall in love from around the local area activities, perhaps you would meet someone at school and end up marrying them or any of the many other methods like approaching someone to talk to on the public transportation system.  But those days have gone seeing as we live in metropolises not knowing most of the people we are at school with, we go off to further education, jobs aren’t for life, families move all the time so the chances of growing up alongside your future hubby or wife is few and far between.

Seeing as life has changed so much the chances of finding love in all the normal and hopefully right places are no more for most of us, but does that mean that all of the wrong places are now right or are they still wrong but we are just making the most as it’s these or nothing?

It would seem that the modern system of finding a life partner has changed so dramatically but with it the intimacy that comes with a long-lasting relationship.  Many people may be finding their spouse online now but are the divorce rates reflecting these as success stories or are they reflecting them as huge failures?

The divorce rates have risen from 50% to 60% in recent years and this rise compared to the old rates of as you can see from the graph above has spiked in the birth of the modern IT era and has yet to fall much at all and since the birth of internet dating I would be interested in these stats in the future to see whether internet dating has helped to decrease marriage failures because we now have a new modern success story for the savior of modern relationships where the transition between the old and the new had a missing link.

When internet dating was first introduced and speed dating etc. everyone was glad that there was an answer to their question “how will I ever find the one.” but since it’s birth there has been possibly more failures than success stories and this instant savior has become the skepticism of many old users, while those that hadn’t braved this new and modern system of dating are now venturing down those paths cautiously hoping the answer lays within, not yet having enough of a failure rate to encourage such skepticism in themselves yet.

Veterans of this new system perhaps sing songs of sorrow and warning to those that follow blindly but just sound bitter and twisted that “it” didn’t work for them.  As these modern methods of finding love have become more acceptable and eventually more a normal part of our society we embrace them not so much because of their successes but more because there are no longer any other options available.

What of future statistics for divorce and marriage?  Unless we find something as or more successful as the old-fashioned ways it would seem that the outlook does not look good at all.

I personally feel that we might need to build an online dating CV from our youth in order to make the selection far more realistic like the old days where you already know of a person and their family history in order to understand the nature of the person you had your eyes on for love.  A system where you would list your upbringing, your previous boyfriends or girlfriends the duration they lasted and reasons for ending, etc. much like a CV for employment, after all marriage should be a permanent contract than employment yet we ask fewer questions that really tell us about the person than we would when looking for an employee.



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