Where have all the real men gone?


The Real Man is a dying breed!

That might seem like quite a statement but let us first take a look at the evidence.

You only have to turn on a film that is more than 50 years old and you’ll see men that dress well, have manners, treat women like ladies, are fathers to their children and treat others with respect.  You’ll see old movies about men that would have a sword fight to defend the honor of a family member because honor was a worthwhile cause.

What of today’s man?  It is old-fashioned to be a man as listed above and I wonder how it can be old-fashioned to be better.  I am less convinced of evolution every day and more convinced of devolution as a concept when I look at modern society.

When Nelson Mandela died I wept at the prospects of modern man who would no longer have a living man to look up to for an example of better.  Now men are inspired to become like Phil Mitchel from Eastenders or Bruce Willis from Die Hard, or worse still 50 Cents.

When I was a young man growing up I looked around me and the only examples of men to be socialised to become were gangsters, drunks and rappers, then I looked around at the average man going to work, hating his job, hardly seeing his family and living the night club lifestyle.  So Obviously I wanted to become just like one of the men I saw, after all I could see no difference.

I began to explore the world more through old movies and true stories of old timers, The Rat Pack (personal life aside), Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Old black and white movies and suddenly I saw real men, men that dressed not like unkept unloved misfits but in suits and ties even when they weren’t at work, men that were less chasing after 1 night stands but looking for a wife, men that held doors open for women rather than legs, men that would live and die for a cause rather than a drug deal, men that worried less of themselves but more of their fellow-man, suddenly I was inspired!

I had seen different, I now knew different, I wanted to be like these men, not the men I saw around me in life today, even the gangster movies had men dressed in suits rather than a t-shirt and jeans.

I looked around at the older men and noticed that they always dressed smart even though they were retired and had no need any more, I couldn’t understand it because I saw no young men able to dress smart unless work required it.

How will the next generation fair in the pursuit of the real man role model?  Poorly!  The old movies I managed to see are no longer in circulation, the movies I grew up on are now the old movies and none of them hold any worth for a real man.

Real men need real man role models and let’s face it there are none around anymore.  I have taken it upon myself to attempt to be a real man but as an anomaly in society I don;t feel confident or believe I am making a difference, after all I’m not on the big screen or a musician, what chance do I stand in the scheme of things?

We only have ourselves to blame, our demise of our so-called civilized society, our constant complaint at the lack of Real Men by the women in the community, our constant gripe at the state of men today and the foolish view that the real men of yesteryear could be old fashioned in today’s society.

We need mothers raising the kind of men they are grumbling for, we need men to acknowledge their shortfall and aspire for the next generation to be better and teach them better by example even if it is alien to them because they lacked, we need to break the cycle not continue it.  We need to accept that our preoccupation with the now is failing us to be inspired by the past in order for a better future.

Life is stressful, life is fast and hard there is no doubting that, many people just don’t feel they have the time for such things and don’t see them as important any longer, however the fact of the matter is we are busy aspiring to make life easier and that is the first myth that needs breaking, working harder to acquire more goods that will give us more time is illogical and once we change that the rest will begin to fall into place once we accept there might actually be a problem.

Men have rebelled against the man image of the past to their own detriment.

Will all the real men please stand up!



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