Holy Socks!


Why is it that so many men can wear holey socks? Is it because there is a secret holiness that only men can understand?

Each man has his own rules regarding holey socks, personal to him.  Some live by the small hole where the tip of the toe peers through much like a ninja in uniform, some men can feel quite comfortable with the whole big toe poking through much like a sack race, then there’s the two and three toer’s, but it’s the four and five toes people who have truly perfected their priesthood, or should I say piercedhood, of holeyness.  There is the holes on the sole of the sock which are arguably more offensive than the toe holes, although less obvious and less seen.

So why? What drives these men to permit such freedoms to their toes that women will not?  Do women take more interest in feet and how they are dressed than men?  It would seem they do if you consider that most women have a passion for shoes, but it goes deeper than that, because a woman will often check out a man’s shoes to determine his creed and dateability.  So a foot is important to a woman, clearly, it’s what drives them to paint their toe nails and even dress a foot with toe rings or ankle bracelets.  But why not men?

A man can wear a pair of shoes until their dying day before purchasing another pair especially if they are as comfortable as a slipper.  They begrudge spending too much money on their feet or footwear unless they are aware of the female weakness towards feet and are desperately trying to secure their eligibility with the opposite sex.

What really causes the holes?  It is a common misnomer that long sharp toenails cause toe holes in socks.  This isn’t the general cause, it is a cause but the main cause of holes in socks at the toe is hard-wearing.  Someone that walks a lot or has a lot of movement backwards and forwards in their shoes, ie poor fitting shoes or loose laces are the general cause.  Holes in the sole of socks are more often found in dress socks and these in turn are usually worn with dress shoes.  Dress shoes have a harder in sole and therefore causes harder wearing on the sole of the sock often before the toe wears out.

You’ll often find a man who has holes in his socks are either married or in a secure long-term relationship.  Strangely they had managed to maintain a relatively hole free sock collection for a number of years while single.  Some might argue that he has let himself go because he is no longer trying to win over his romantic interests, while others might dispute other reasons such as financial or his security to be himself that he couldn’t have before.  If he has let himself go by permitting holey socks then this conclusion must also be backed up by other aspects of his image such as hair or other garments.  If it is the second possibility then a woman should see this as a great sign of respect towards her and not a great disrespect.  In fact, the bigger the hole the more comfortable and secure the man is in his relationship unless he has reached his holey limit.

A man knows when it is time to throw out his own socks, any disposal prior the end of a sock’s life is deemed unacceptable as it is a man’s own prerogative when the socks life has ended.  This is completely personal to the individual and should never, I repeat never, be executed by any other person, it is deemed a violation of his right to allow his sock to see out the complete end of its days.

New socks are no excuse.  The arrival of new socks, no matter the number, is no excuse for the early disposal of any holey socks.  A shoe’s job is to hide a holey sock when in public and if a man expects to remove his shoes at any point in the duration of a visit he will ensure a pair of socks without holes are worn.  So a woman should never actually need to intervene in the holy affairs of a man’s socks and the when’s and where’s surrounding them.  Sock etiquette is completely personal and each man must be given the space to be king over his own Holey subjects.


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